That night, Monika tried to get some sleep. She had skipped dinner, and she hadn't gone to the bathroom at all today either. Strangely, her belly remained largely full all day, not that she herself actually noticed this, mind you.
And so, blanketed with her covers and the faint moonlight coming out from her windowsill, Monika finally nodded off, and began to dream.
And so, blanketed with her covers and the faint moonlight coming out from her windowsill, Monika finally nodded off, and began to dream.
⋯
Monika found herself running down a bone-white plastic hallway in a blue tracksuit with cheap armor padding; feet hitting hard on the metal floor as laser beams fly by her. An action set piece straight from a sci-fi movie, she figures that it's Star Wars. Monika slides down behind cover, reaching for her blaster, only to find that it's missing from it's holster.
Shit, she thinks. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Oh, hiya Monika!" a voice familiar to Monika utters.
Shit, she thinks. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Oh, hiya Monika!" a voice familiar to Monika utters.
It's Agnes, a reoccurring character in Monika's dreams. She's a brunette, with hair at about a shoulder's length that to which parts in a fashion to fall over half of her face and hazel-colored eyes. She always wears a black full body tracksuit, one with a little symbol of the Earth pinned onto it's breast pocket, and she always treats Monika with a sincere kindness that she never really encounters anywhere else. Monika is convinced that somewhere, out there in the waking world, Agnes really does exists, and that the two of them just happen to drift into each other's dreams every now and then. Though, at this point and time, Monika hasn't seen Agnes in over a year now.
What could she be up to now? Monika wonders to herself.
"Oh, hey there, Agnes."
"Do you have a moment, Monika?"
"I mean... I'm kind of in the middle of something here--"
"I haven't got the time, I'm sorry to interrupt whatever you're doing."
"What?" Monika says to Agnes, bewildered.
Agnes grabs Monika by the shoulders, and gently guides her down to the floor, "I just want to do this real quick, okay? Promise you won't get mad at me?"
"Do what? What are you doing?"
"I just want to show what's inside of you," Agnes unzips Monika's tracksuit, exposing her bare stomach out in the open.
"There's a lot of you inside of here, you know that? A lot of little passageways that all spiral and collegiate into this rubber-band wad of stringy corridors."
"What the hell is happening? Are you trying to fuck me?"
"No! I just... I don't know. It's just something you need to understand."
Monika doesn't know how to reply to Agnes.
"These passages -- This whole... Labyrinth that's inside of you -- That is the machinery that keeps you going. It is, truthfully, all that is kept inside you. It's what makes up you, the very essence of your being. The inner juices, so to speak."
"What are you talking about? What does any of this mean?"
Agnes sighs, sitting upright as she runs a hand through her hair, "There will be stones placed surrounding your tombstone, Monika. It's something related to your heritage."
"... Okay?"
"Do you know what will happen to your tombstone, Monika?"
"No... What's gonna happen?"
Agnes suddenly jabs her fingers down into Monika's stomach, startling her. Monika tries to let out a scream, but she can't. Nothing comes out.
"The stones will be projected downward from the lightning bolt that strikes upon on your resting place! They will point to you, and your soul and remaining entrails will be merged with the entrails that of the mother Earth itself!"
Monika's tries to unpin herself from Agnes, but she finds that her hands and fingers have all curled inward.
"This is Clairvoyance I'm speaking of, Monika! This is a necessary function of our precious lives and reality! This is how people get a hold of themselves and clear their mind! It's the interaction of the sky and the Earth; As Above, So Below; Conquest and Care! Don't you see!?"
The world around these two has now been successfully ignored. Monika's whole world now hinges on what Agnes is doing and saying to her.
"One day, you will look up at the full Moon, and you will take in completely its brilliant light that to which is reflected from its splatters, and you will be jettisoned to all which is gorgeous and meaningful in this Earth, and you will obtain an enchantment that is indistinguishable to mania, and you will see the world with a gained astigmatism, and you will walk and recite all that the air whispers into your ears!"
Monika grits through her teeth, the first time she's genuinely had to struggle in a dream: "I... I want to go home, Agnes."
"It's cold outside, Monika. It's cold but there is no snow to be found. It doesn't snow anymore. It doesn't snow anymore."
"But it's snowing outside right now..."
"It doesn't snow anymore, and there are no fireflies to be found..."
"Do you have a moment, Monika?"
"I mean... I'm kind of in the middle of something here--"
"I haven't got the time, I'm sorry to interrupt whatever you're doing."
"What?" Monika says to Agnes, bewildered.
Agnes grabs Monika by the shoulders, and gently guides her down to the floor, "I just want to do this real quick, okay? Promise you won't get mad at me?"
"Do what? What are you doing?"
"I just want to show what's inside of you," Agnes unzips Monika's tracksuit, exposing her bare stomach out in the open.
"There's a lot of you inside of here, you know that? A lot of little passageways that all spiral and collegiate into this rubber-band wad of stringy corridors."
"What the hell is happening? Are you trying to fuck me?"
"No! I just... I don't know. It's just something you need to understand."
Monika doesn't know how to reply to Agnes.
"These passages -- This whole... Labyrinth that's inside of you -- That is the machinery that keeps you going. It is, truthfully, all that is kept inside you. It's what makes up you, the very essence of your being. The inner juices, so to speak."
"What are you talking about? What does any of this mean?"
Agnes sighs, sitting upright as she runs a hand through her hair, "There will be stones placed surrounding your tombstone, Monika. It's something related to your heritage."
"... Okay?"
"Do you know what will happen to your tombstone, Monika?"
"No... What's gonna happen?"
Agnes suddenly jabs her fingers down into Monika's stomach, startling her. Monika tries to let out a scream, but she can't. Nothing comes out.
"The stones will be projected downward from the lightning bolt that strikes upon on your resting place! They will point to you, and your soul and remaining entrails will be merged with the entrails that of the mother Earth itself!"
Monika's tries to unpin herself from Agnes, but she finds that her hands and fingers have all curled inward.
"This is Clairvoyance I'm speaking of, Monika! This is a necessary function of our precious lives and reality! This is how people get a hold of themselves and clear their mind! It's the interaction of the sky and the Earth; As Above, So Below; Conquest and Care! Don't you see!?"
The world around these two has now been successfully ignored. Monika's whole world now hinges on what Agnes is doing and saying to her.
"One day, you will look up at the full Moon, and you will take in completely its brilliant light that to which is reflected from its splatters, and you will be jettisoned to all which is gorgeous and meaningful in this Earth, and you will obtain an enchantment that is indistinguishable to mania, and you will see the world with a gained astigmatism, and you will walk and recite all that the air whispers into your ears!"
Monika grits through her teeth, the first time she's genuinely had to struggle in a dream: "I... I want to go home, Agnes."
"It's cold outside, Monika. It's cold but there is no snow to be found. It doesn't snow anymore. It doesn't snow anymore."
"But it's snowing outside right now..."
"It doesn't snow anymore, and there are no fireflies to be found..."
Monika now finds herself floating. Suspended in a place that lies in between the waking world and that of dreams. Her limbs feel a little longer than usual.
⋯
Heart pounding, hot, and drenched in sweat; Monika has no idea when exactly she woke up, nor does she have any recollection of her dream last night, except for the inkling in her mind that that she did, in fact, dream. It's still dark out her window. She turns over to her alarm clock: 3:42 a.m.. She has work today in about six hours. Panting, she gets out of bed, stumbles downstairs and toward the kitchen, and gulps down a half-emptied glass of water out from the fridge. After wiping her mouth dry with a near-by cleaning rag, she reaches into the pockets of her jacket which hangs from a coat hanger, and steps outside on the porch to light a smoke. The only noise out this late at night is the soft whistles of the wind as it blows through Monika's dyed black hair.
She spends another few minutes out here, with the dried carcasses of cicada bugs and crunched leaves littered around the floorboards below her. Every house on this street, like hers, looks worn and shriveled looking. Dotted with the occasional tree that is either dead or dying. There's a few tall brick buildings that poke out in the distance afar. One of them has a chimney blowing out some ominous plooms of black smoke. Monika feels that now would be the perfect time for a stray cat to appear to accompany her; A black cat, or maybe a skinny little tabby. but no cats, or anyone for that matter, comes. She finishes her cigarette, and discards it on the driveway in front of her, before heading back inside to dream yet another dream she would just forget again.
She spends another few minutes out here, with the dried carcasses of cicada bugs and crunched leaves littered around the floorboards below her. Every house on this street, like hers, looks worn and shriveled looking. Dotted with the occasional tree that is either dead or dying. There's a few tall brick buildings that poke out in the distance afar. One of them has a chimney blowing out some ominous plooms of black smoke. Monika feels that now would be the perfect time for a stray cat to appear to accompany her; A black cat, or maybe a skinny little tabby. but no cats, or anyone for that matter, comes. She finishes her cigarette, and discards it on the driveway in front of her, before heading back inside to dream yet another dream she would just forget again.